**BEAUTIFUL MISTAKE**///

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

The ever loving couple of 36 years.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

How i wish she's the one staying in Spore and not the other.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

We are happier w/o her.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Awfully Chocolate Cake.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Daddy's actual bday. I truly love them.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

9 pairs heels within 45 mins. Tts what women do whn they are feeling depressed and vexed.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Happy 60th birthday Daddy dearest!! thks for all the love n sacrifices uve made for us thruout all these years. u deserve all the blessings u received on this special nite.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

The cake that everyone liked and which was paid for by me.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

We gave him this big celebration.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

**Sisters are nv complete w/o the three of us!**

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Mommy and her sisters! -from youngest to oldest-

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

**Mommy and her brothers**

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

**My pretty cousin! <3

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Doesn't Kevin (the one w glasses) reminds u of "da fan shu" frm the comic "lao fu zi"?? He's so adorable!!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

I just love "da fan shu" too much!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

*zenden baby!*

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Little rascals!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

We love granny!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

grandma looked so lovely here w her children.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Daddy and his siblings.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

tog with melissa//

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

how come my lecturer wasnt there??

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

the noisiest bunch!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

WE all love them to bits!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

The nicest neighbour ever*

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Sunday, March 18, 2007

My paternal side.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

-All his friends-

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Dad n his closest n fav uncle-friend. The red wine was fab!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Ain't this sweet? Daddy n his princess*

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Friday, March 16, 2007

Been thinking alot the past two days.
Been out with supposedly my best-est n closest frns.
However, the connection n feeling of closeness n love we hv alws shared seemed to be lost.
At times, there seemed to be nthg to talked abt.
Awkward silence was frequent.
Suddenly it seemed tt we are not comfortable w each others' company anymore.
Its rli sad.
I think its cos of the different lives we r leading now tt we seldom hv time to meet up anymore tt caused our distance.
We dnt kw wats gg on in each others' lives anymore.
At times, i feel rli tired of asking questions n coming up w topics to talk abt.
In the day Ive to do that w the first grp of frns.
In the night, Ive to do the same thg.
I hv alws believed that everyone shd hold on to frnships n mk constant efforts to maintain them.
We must alws treasure wat we hv now.
The ones we love n love us.
Thats why we must alws give our all, do our best to hold on.
Never give up any kinda r/s or frnships.
Tts y Im alws the one tkg the initiative n efforts in meet-ups.
Despite constant negative replies n screwed bz schedules, ive nv stopped tryg.
Cos I strongly believe tt I can nv give up a frn or a bond.
I think that ive been doing such thgs all these while tt everyone has taken me n my efforts fer granted.
Increasingly I feel so damn unappreciated.
That they actually can do w/o me in their lives.
I know tt bfs alws tk the top spot on everyone's priority list.
Even the best-est frns will hv to tk the 2nd or 3rd spot.
However, sometimes it tks sthg as simple as a sms, email or short phonecall to show tt u care.
At times, be that party to tk the effort n initiative to organise a simple catch-up.
Seriously, I'm in a state whereby I'm rli disillusioned abt evthg ard me.
All kinds of r/s.
All kinds of ppl.
Everything.

Been hearing abt all kinda complicated r/s.
Two timings.
Break-ups.
Divorce cases.
Why get tog whn u know u dnt love tt person tt much at all.
Why cant ppl nowadays love their partners wholeheartedly n faithfully?
Why are ppl nowadays want the best of both worlds?
Why arent ppl be satisfied w wat they hv got?
Why cant ppl nowadys jst put alil more effort n love to kip the r/s gg?
Why are ppl nowadays take more than they give?
Why are ppl nowadays so self-centered ?
WHY??? WHY?? WHY???

I feel dumb whn i ask "stupid" qns jst to ease the awkward silence moments.
Even if I'm being scolded for being an "idiot" for doing so, im cool w it cos i know ive tried. Even if u say stuff like"ur alws asking qns tt i wun knw the answers to.." im cool abt being insulted cos i know ive tried.
i dnt retaliate anymore like i used to.
Cos there's no point.
Everyone can insult n scold me in watever ways u all want i dnt care.
Im too tired to fight baq.
If im tt stupid in ur eyes,
then so be it.
Anw, im trained well at home jst to kip quiet n swallow dwn watever tt hits me. Basically, im a mute at home.
I know no one will ever appreciate wat ive done.
No one will give a damn to how i feel n wat i write here.
No one will rli understand how disappointed n hurt i feel, by those who are supposedly to be the closest ones in my lives.
Jst bcos I hv been keeping quiet all these while to watever u guys hv done to me n said to me,
doesnt mean tt i can be taken for granted.
Everyone knows who to go to whn they hv their "sob" stories to tell.
Everyone knows who to go to whn they nd a listener.
ME...
In a way, I'm glad to be tt "person".
But dnt treat me as ur EMERGENCY HOTLINE!!
Whn everthg's gg well n looking up,
u guys forget abt this hotline here.
No msg, calls, mails or anthg in mths!
And we are supposedly to be gd frns.
It sounds n feels like acquaintance to me.

To me, i alws believe tt its a blessing to give.
Tts y ive alws give as much as i can.
My dad oftens scolds me for "living for my frns n not fer urself"
He alws upset w me tt im alws buyg stuffs for my frns n nt spend tt money on sthg i like instead.
But whnever i see sthg nice I'll alws think of who i can give it to, to mk them smile n know tt they mean alot to me.
He's unhappy tt i give too much.
He's angry at times tt i alws "follow wat my frns say n do".
But I used to be happy doing all these.
Whn my frns smile, i feel doubled happiness in me.
Im tt kinda person.
As long as ur happy, I will be happier.

Recently, I hv stepped back and ponder.
I do not expect to get baq wat ive given.
But at least show me that u care.
Tt u appreciate.
As ive said earlier, a simple sms, email or short phonecall will do the trick.
Or tk the initiative to plan a outg.
None.

Sometimes, I looked back and admire myself for my persistence n faithful-ness.
I admire my level of tolerance n patience.
I'm facing all these on two fronts.
Outside n sadly, at home.
Thgs are getting worst each passing day.
I find myself rli drained tt I dnt speak anymore.
I dnt speak my mind anymore.
I dnt fight baq anymore.
No retaliation.
No nthg.
Jst swallow all these dwn n move on.
However, I find life increasingly meaningless as these kinda days fly by.
I hate myself.
Its like I hv no pride n ego.
But if I do fight baq,
quarrels n more quarrels will come baq to me.
I dnt understand why she has changed to someone tt i cannot recognise anymore.
The sight of her mks me irk.
And yet, she's one tt i shd be closest to besides my parents.
Sadly, i'm rli rli rli rli tired of her n her impossible character, temper, n moodswings.
I hv tried n tried n tried n do the best i can to help.
But there's only tt much i can do.
It comes to a state now tt i seriously dntkw wat to do anymore.
Everyday i dnt feel like waking up.
I dnt wna face anyone.
I feel so lousy.
As a daughter,
as a sister,
as a best frn,
as a close frn,
as a tortoise,
as ME.

Guess I will leave thgs as wat they are now.
At the end of the day,
u'll know who are ur true frns.
but I'm scared tt till that day,
you, you,you n you..... (the list goes on)
are not there w me.

I wndr who will read this post.
Who wld bother to come read my posts.
Cos at the end of the day,
im jst a no-body.
A no-body to you, you, you, n you....
Maybe like wat my dad alws claim,
"You are a dummy n a utter fool...."
Even if you are reading this post,
I doubt u'll know tt im talking abt u.
Cos im alws being taken for granted for...
Nobody will understand how frustrated, disappointed, hurt, and empty im feeling right now.

I felt rli depressed whn i came baq on weds.
I feel tt all my efforts ive put in all these years,
hv been taken for granted and none of them rli rli appreciate n treasure wat ive done.
Neglect me all u want..
i know all of u will nv ever feel the loss..
anw, i know im an idiot.
Scold me all u want,
Insult me all u want,
i wun retaliate.
Anw, since whn u guys rli taken into account how i truly feel??
If u guys rli care,
u all wun treat me as an emergency hotline.
rli, i dntkw how to give anymore.
if u guys feel happy insulting me then kip doing it.
im numbed alr...
i know ive alws loved a person the wrg way.
i give too much...
maybe aftall, giving is not blessing...

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Thursday, March 15, 2007

**He's my PRINCE!**

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

greedy pigs! :)

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Happy Birthday to my darling!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

I have decided to give my "dead" blog a new look! :)
Instead of studyg for my mock papers, I've been slacking all the way.
Yes, I do feel v bad n guilty but I can't find any motivation to work hard for my last hurdle.
Ok, I'm scared of wats lie ahead.
What lies ahead after student-hood.
Since the end of last year, every one has been asking me wat do u wna do aft i grad. I'm getting alil tired of answering.
Well, I cannot see myself holding an office job. Those 9-5 ones. Nor can i see myself working in a bank or as an auditor.
After studying FR and Auditing, makes me dislike the subjects.
I wanna do sthg interesting.
Sthg which will mk me look forward to gg to wk in the morns.
I want a job tt deals or give me the opportunities to socalize.
So that restricts my job scope to Customer Relations, events co-ordinator, HR and I wld rli wanna work in a match-making agency.
Cos' I wld wna have one to call it my own in future.
Believe me, this is where money is.
It will be big business in years to come.
Or I wld like to work on the IR.
I want an exciting job!
So I guess I must rli start job-hunting right now.
sighh....i dnt wna work!!!! :( -whines-

thats all for what i wna do in future.
Right now, I know I shd focus on my studies.
The nxt two mths will determine wat kinda degree i'll get.
I dnt wanna a lousy degree.
But how to get myself motivated???
urgh... ask me out to study anyone???

Been out alot.
yea..hvg alot of fun whn others are mugging their socks off.
hehe.
met up with my lil clique on thurs to celebrate astee's bday.
went to Electic cafe at PS.
The food wasnt tt great but we r in love with the ambience.
As astee claimed : "its not everyday tt we can be displays of a shop"
haha. my dear retard. i love her.
as usual, the company was lovcly.
Seriously, I wld be nowhere w/o my dearest lil clique.
For the past 10 years, they are alws regardless rain or shine.
They are all my pillars of strength.
To all my darlings, thk u for ur presence in my life.
You have all been a blessing to me.
And I'll treasure u girlies more than anthg.
i love u.

However, it wld hv been more perfect if dearie ying is ard.
I rli miss my bestie.
And I know how lonely and depressed she is over in Shanghai.
The fact tt i cant do anthg over here to mk her feel better, rli mks me feel terribly bad. I can only call her as frequent as i can to check out how she is coping.
Dear, you must be strong.
As Ive said umpteen times b4,
no point in holdg sthg uve alr lost.
no point clapping the air.
ur cryg n hurting everyday but will he rli know n understand how ur feeling?
dnt let an unworthy ppl brg u dwn.
he's a jerk.
so no point brooding over it.
its tough i know, esp since ur alone over there.
but treat it as a challenge on urself.
believe me whn i tell u tt u'll emerge s a much stronger person aft this.
rmb tt wats meant to be will b n wats not meant to be wun b.
rmb u still have all of us here waiting for u to be back.
stay strong n live well for urself, ur family n all ur frns here.
we all love u deeply.
Dnt let a person who doesnt know how to love u the right way hurt u.
u deserves much better than wat he can give u.
take care baby! -hugg-

Met up w Fen n Twinne the past week and they are that handful truly real ppl ard in SIM.
they have been a blessing thruout my 3 yrs in this horrible pl.
To all of u who hv asked me why ive mellowed dwn so much the past yr,
i just hv to say tt I'm tired of putting in efforts into frnships tt arent worth my time. (which is most of them)
Im tired of expressing myself in fronta others.
I prefer to be the listener nowadays.
Anw, deep dwn no one will rli understand the real me n what im gg thru.
So wats the point of telling?

Home has been a dark and empty place to be in.
sometimes, I feel that my patience and tolerance is becoming thinner as days go by.
there's a limit to everyone's patience n tolerance.
there's only tt much i can tk.
stop testing my limits!
stop all the yellings n whinings n bitchy-ness!
im rli tired of all tt n im ready to retaliate!
cant u find a damn job and disappear frm this house!
We arent ur dog!
stop ordering n yelling at us!
u treat ur dog much better than how u treat us!
show us some respect before u can earn respect for urself.
ur rli the most incredible terror n tormentor ive ever seen.
Give us all a break will you?????
ITS ENOUGH!!!!

And -you-
im rli disapointed w u.
16yrs since ive known u.
tts how u treat the bond we hv shared.
i shall stop being so silly and kip giving to this frnship.
u made me realise tt ive been the fool all these while.
thk u.
ive been hurt so many times tt i dnt feel the loss anymore.
numbed.

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

Friday, March 09, 2007

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

my pretty bday girl and her pretty lil cakes we've gotten fer her!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;

he's hot!

- I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;